What if you could start all over?
I've been intrigued by the idea.
I’ve been ashamed of feeling intrigued.
I've feared the consequences.
I've felt like it's the only option.
I've feared that it's the only option.
I've longed for it.
And now ... I'm doing it!
In the last couple of years I've struggled to find my place in photography, the industry and, in a way, the world. I've experimented, tried, failed, got back up and tried some more. A couple of times it felt like I came close to finding something meaningful but the answers always seemed to stay just out of my reach. I’ve learned so much, but there was nothing I could do with that knowledge. There were simply too many ties, expectations and obligations to be a free, creative spirit.
As a self-employed dad who lives alone with his three kids, stepping away is a challenge. And it took a couple of years to come across an opportunity to have an income, do something interesting and free up some mental space to take a new start. For most of 2019 I'll be making videos for an organisation that promotes local tourism here in Flanders. I enjoy this job a great deal and although it's challenging, it also brings some much needed peace of mind.
At the moment, I'm shutting down my photography business, I'm archiving my archive, I'm getting rid of a pile of gear and as soon as that is all done, I'll be restarting from scratch. I hate all the admin and hassle that comes with it, but it's an essential step towards a fresh start. And I'm really stoked about rediscovering photography and my role in it.
Maybe you already picture me in a remote forest cabin, herding goats and spending all my free time growing an impressive beard. Well, that won’t happen. I need an internet connection to continue my work with the KAGE Collective, the goats would get in the way of my “travel light philosophy” as a Fujifilm X-Photographer and I don’t have time for grooming a beard while I’m shooting a ton of new personal work.
When I first started as a photographer, I also started a blog about that process. Writing and sharing made me understand myself better. And through the blog, I made meaningful connections. So it seems like a good idea to share this restarting process this time around too.
So, if you're interested, stay tuned.